Today is Friday the 8th of November. It is 7:30 in the morning and my surgery is at 10 am. As the time approaches, my anxiety starts to boil to the surface. I tell myself to calm down; its only removing my wisdom teeth so I shouldn’t be worried. I have had surgery before and have been under sedation so why is this different? Maybe its the fear of the unknown pain I will have to endure after the fact, or maybe because I read the fine print and the risk of brain damage, etc. I know logically that it is a very low risk but the wrath of my anxiety hyper-focuses on that one aspect. The feeling of knots in my stomach and my head spinning over the worst case scenario quickens mt breath; rise, fall, rise fall. Time to put on the brakes and think logically. It is a straight forward procedure; safe and quick.
My anxiety can be a beast, just like by bipolar depression, eating disorder, and PTSD. I seem to surprise myself when i am now able to manage these feelings, thoughts, and urges.
I will most likely be absent from writing for a few days while recovering. Wish me luck!