Keep Moving Forward
You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
– Marcus Aurelius
Two weeks of stress; two weeks of testing my strength. I am a 27 year old recovering ( almost three years strong) anorexic. I have been through more than I should in a lifetime, but this post will not be going back in time. I find that looking back keeps you from moving forward. I have debated creating a blog for some time but life gets busy and I never got to it. I have always loved to write and writing in a journal has always been a safe haven.
Okay, here we go. I have made my life worth living; for over a decade of my life I was a slave to my own mind; consumed my mental illness. When I was 24 which is almost three and a half years ago, I had to make a choice. I could stay in self-destruction mode or find my courage that I knew I had buried deep within my being. I choose life, and man was that hard fight, but day after day I became more and more confident in myself. Soon after I met my now Fiance who is basically the male me. We both LOVE Harry Potter and he proposed in Harry Potter world at Universal Studios.
Alright, fast forward to now. My life has been great and of course there are ups and downs in life, but overall I am the happiest I have ever been. We have had a hard few months with unfortunate events. Our dog who is my life and my fur son, was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure at the end of July. He is half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and unfortunately is very common in that breed. He has had two “heart failure episodes” since. (We are very broke now just to put the price in perspective.) The last on he had was last Monday; this is where we really begin.
On Tuesday I was able to get my baby from the hospital and he was doing great; I couldn’t be more grateful. Unfortunately, my string of problems were just starting. Tuesday night my shoulder started hurting. It was odd because I haven’t done anything to screw it up; except having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome/hyper- mobility type. Which means constant joint pain and injuries. I go to my primary physician; turns out I strained my shoulder. (Great…) Then on Friday my teeth start hurting so I had to go get my teeth checked. My dentist who I have had for years says “Jamie, you can’t put off getting your wisdom teeth out.” So, tomorrow (Friday) I will be getting them out. Lets pay for more things we can’t afford.
I try to reflect and calm myself down and then thought of the quote above. I may have a mess of things happening right now, but if I keep moving and pushing myself to embrace that there are going to be times in life that suck and are hard and stressful, but as long as I keep picking myself up, take care of myself, take one day at a time I will preserver. I am strong. I am courageous. I am Brave.